Avoiding Life One Post at a Time

Blog Awards - My Picks

I've been thinking about this since Damien announced nominations and I think this is what I've whittled it down to.  There are so many wonderful Irish blogs out there that it's hard to squeeze them all in.  I tried to lean away from the big ones (you know who you are) who will get nominated anyway and focus on some smaller, perhaps less well known blogs to give them a chance.  I did skip a few categories as I am a little lax on the culture side of things and my Irish is limited to things I shouldn't say in front of the mother. So here goes:

Best Blog: Well Done Fillet
Reason:  Since I discovered Manuel I have been hooked.  Who can't relate to the spurned waiter in some way or another?  I've worked in the industry myself so can completely appreciate the hilarity of the situations Manuel brings up.  I think this blog is well written, entertaining and generally hysterical.

Best Blog Post: Just When I'd Started to Smile Again
Reason: The Swearing Lady sums up the joys of renting in Ireland.

Most Humorous Blog Post: The Customer that Broke This Camel's Back
Reason: Had to stick with Manuel on this one.  Read it and see!

Best Photo Blog: Redmum
Reason:  Just look at the photos.  They are so unique and interesting, not an ordinary thing about them.  I love watching Dublin through Red Mum's lens.

Best Political Blog:  Irish Election
Reason:  I enjoyed following the election with them, but even since the posts have been informative and thought-provoking.

Best Personal Blog: Hangar Queen
Reason:  Having only discovered Devin's blog a few weeks ago I actually went back and read the entire blog from beginning to present.  The writing is fantastic, the stories poignant, sometimes funny and incredibly human. 

Best Technology Blogger:  Sabrina Dent
Reason: Also a recent discovery of mine, thanks to her support on the boob issue, I've been going back over Sabrina's old posts as well.  Great writing, both technological and otherwise.  I used to be quite techie back in the nineties when Javascript was fancy shit and HTML was as good as it got, so I like to keep an eye on the area and Sabrina presents things in an easy to understand and often entertaining manner!

Best Designed Blog: Sabrina Dent
Reason: Go look!  It's beautiful.  Not only is the blog design gorgeous and easy to navigate, but she has a different image for each post.  It's clever and attractive!

Best Newcomer: K8 the GR8
Reason:  Brilliant writing, hilarious stories, just generally witty and clever. 

Best Business Blog: Ice Cream Ireland
Reason: Great recipes, photos and foodie information, without a big sell.  Love it!

Best Food Blog: The Humble Housewife
For obvious reasons! ;-)  But I do think it's one of the few food blogs out there that is not about pretentious food and impeccably produced photos, but real food that anyone can cook.

Best Craft Blog:  Jackie's Space
Reason:  Nice blog, with beautifully designed cards and photos. 

Best Pop Culture Blog: Rick O'Shea
Reason: Nice guy, interesting and funny posts.

Best Blog from a Journalist:  GUBU
This was also a tough call.  Sarah sometimes drives me nuts, more often than not on the radio or TV, but her columns and blog posts are usually quite sound.  Her readership also brings a lively debate to most posts, making this an all around interesting blog to read.

Well that's what I've got.  Not familiar with the other categories, but am always open to suggestions!  Happy New Year!

Does the Santa Claus threat actually work?

Come late November I was excited because it had gotten to the point of the year that I could begin to use the Santa Claus threat.  No more shouting, no more naughty step, just a brief mention of the man in red and the bad behavior ceases.  Well, it worked last year. 

This year they are calling my bluff.  They know the fat man's going to come one way or the other.  Considering this is only the fourth Christmas for the eldest, I'd say they're pretty sharp.  She's obviously clued the little one in too. 

I figure the only way to nip this in the bud is to go out and buy a sack of coal and leave it for them on Christmas morning.  Is that too cruel?  It is, I know, but think of all the Christmases to follow! "Remember last year, when Santa brought you coal???" Hehe...

And the verdict...

It's a hung jury.

If you've been with me since the beginning you know I went to my GP, who due to the lack of abnormalities present during the physical exam, was not overly concerned but wanted an ultrasound done to be sure she was not missing anything. 

After much screaming, blogging, crying, radio appeals, TD appeals and so forth I got an appointment yesterday in Dublin.  I drove the two hours to Dublin in horrendous fog with two screaming toddlers in the back fully expecting to get this sorted out and have the scan for once and for all. 

After dropping the kids off at my brothers, I walked up to the hospital.  I must say I was quite impressed.  To date it's the only Irish hospital I've been to that hasn't looked like a prison on the outside or a mental institution on the inside.  The staff were friendly and I was checked in for my half eleven appointment no problem.

An hour and a half later I was called in. I saw a nice enough consultant who did not introduce himself.  He did a similar exam, albeit slightly more thorough, to my GP and concluded exactly what she did - that nothing seemed obviously wrong but that he wanted to send me for an ultrasound just to make sure he was right. 

Having seen an ultrasound machine being wheeled in and out of the clinic several times during my wait, I assumed it would be done there and then.  No.  Several months from now was the reply I got.  Bye bye, thanks for coming, see you when we have your results.

So there you have it.  I know nothing more than I did before.  I also wasted a consultant's time with something my GP had already taken care of.  This man could have been seeing women who actually had cancer - there were plenty of them waiting - instead of wasting his, mine and their time by repeating something that had already been done.

Now it's not all bad.  I keep reminding myself that this man sees more boobs in a week (no jokes Grandad, please) than the average GP sees in a lifetime, so obviously he's even better equipped to  say there's probably nothing wrong and lack concern.  What I have decided to do is trust him.  If a breast expert in one of the busiest hospitals in the country is not concerned, then why should I be? 

I figure when I finally get the scan, if something is wrong, I've lived in America long enough to pick up a bit of a litigious streak, so I can deal with him / them then.

I really do hope everything is ok, and I certainly do feel better about it, but at the same time, I have this man, who has never had a breast, tell me that nothing is wrong, whilst I remain in pain and continue to bleed, albeit lightly.  There's definitely a nagging feeling - something I can't quite shake. 

When I had my first child and had a male OB/GYN I quickly learned that my own body was a much better judge of things than his uterus-less self and became much wiser the second time around.  I am wondering if I need to be the same here, but I don't want to be a reactionary either.  If he's not concerned, there's probably nothing to worry about... right?

Worst case scenario I am going to the states in March.  A good friend of mine has a sister who is an ultrasound technician.  When I was pregnant she allowed me to sneak in on a Sunday and did a free ultrasound to show me the baby.  Perhaps she'd be willing to do the same under different circumstances.  At least I can bring the film back here and have someone look at it. 

So that's where I am.  I am going to put things to the back of my mind and focus on Christmas.  I don't anticipate blogging much more about this in the near future as it's just depressing and not going anywhere.  Once again, thank you for all your support, it's really touching to know how many people care. 

Wishing you all the best Christmas!

-D

Hallelujah!

I just received a phone call, after resigning myself to another day of silence.  They offered me an appointment in Port Laoise on January ninth or an appointment this coming Friday morning at St. Vincents.  Gee... let me think! So hopefully my mind will finally be put to rest on Friday.  Either that or I will be referred for a biopsy and who knows where we will go from there?  But right now I am going to wallow in my relief that someone cares and that I will know something more by Christmas.  I only hope that anyone else who was waiting who maybe didn't make as much noise got sorted too!

Thank you for all the support and suggestions.  I've never looked forward to a medical test so much in my life!

From yesterday's Dail transcript - Charlie Flanagan followed through and has really impressed me:

208. Deputy Charles Flanagan   asked the Minister for Health and Children if her attention has been drawn to the fact that a person (details supplied) in County Laois, when referred from Portlaoise Hospital to Dublin for an urgent ultrasound, was told that they would have to wait up to four months before they could be seen; and if she will make a statement on the matter. [35110/07]

Minister for Health and Children (Deputy Mary Harney):   My Department is advised that a reply issued to the Deputy by the Health Service Executive regarding this matter on 17th December 2007.

And we've made contact...

Well folks, the HSE has been in touch and things are moving... more as soon as I know something.  Charlie Flanagan has remained in touch and will be bringing this up in the Dail tomorrow.  What a man!

Thanks again for all the support, comments, emails and links.  I am truly touched with the kindness,  concern and compassion of complete strangers.  Obviously it hasn't been for nothing and someone has taken notice.  We'll see where it goes from here!

Sometimes I make myself so angry...

You know the more I think about the conversation with my GP and ponder some of the comments people have left the more angry I get with myself.  Why did I just let him say that?  Why couldn't I have demanded more?  Why am I such a pushover?  If I was in a restaurant and my steak was overcooked I would sure as shit send it back, but when it comes to my own well being I let some doctor walk all over me.  Fuck.

To put things into perspective, he's a lovely country doctor.  His Daddy was a doctor and his Grand Daddy was a doctor and so on and so forth - their name is synonymous with health care in this town.  He's got a great reputation and I certainly don't want to tarnish that, but why am I settling for these nonchalant answers?  It's not his family who are potentially facing their last Christmas together!  I know I'm being melodramatic here, but is it really too much to ask that I know whether or not I have cancer by the New Year? 

Having said all that, I have received some emails and comments and come up with two potential options.  I could apply for an "exceptional and urgent needs" social welfare benefit to get the private treatment.  Given the man's job, we would probably have to pay it back eventually, but that is perfect - I wouldn't have it any other way.  I don't know if it will work, but perhaps where the HSE taketh away the Social Welfare department giveth! It's worth a shot if nothing else.

The other option is I go to one of the VHI Swift Clinics.  I can definitely come up with the €95 to get a referral to a Dublin hospital or even get the ultrasound there.  I am waiting on details from them.  It definitely seems like an option that might be slightly cheaper than going the private hospital route.  I was there once before with one of the kids and despite the cost was extremely impressed.

For those of you who missed the interview, the HSE would not issue a statement and wanted my specific details.  Cian gave me the numbers of the women he spoke to and I shall give them a ring tomorrow as "Mary."

I am definitely going to try and see Olwyn Enright tomorrow.  It might require some creative taxi catching and toddler wrangling, but I hope to make it work.  I have always been impressed with her and know she has had a similar scare herself.

The A&E camp out is still an option.  Always open to other creative suggestions as well!  Thanks again for all the support.  Things may look bleak, but I am trying to look at the good side of things.  Statistics statistics... on my side!  But best of all, Twenty Major himself commented here today and that really made my day! The joy!

Update...

Again thank you all for your support and suggestions.  A few updates.

I just did a short interview with Matt Cooper which might be aired on tomorrow's edition of Today FM's The Last Word.  They are going to get in touch with the HSE and see if they can get a response.

UPDATE - Looks like this will be aired tonight after six, all going well.  For those of you who know me personally I am going by the name Mary on the show.  Click here to listen live.  Here's hoping something will come from it!

I also just spoke with my GP who informed me that the list of people waiting for scans in the Midlands has been forwarded to a Dublin hospital.  He asked that I be patient and that I should be finding out something soon.  *SIGH*

I rang some of the private hospitals in Dublin to try and cost things out.  I would be looking at around €200 up front for the ultrasound.  If a biopsy is needed it would be another €250 plus pathology fees and then several hundred for the consultant.  My insurance (basic level) will cover some at about 35-60% depending on the service, but that would have to be claimed back by myself in May when the policy is up for renewal.  Unfortunately I just don't have that type of money lying around. 

On the suggestion that some people made of camping out in A&E until someone does the scan, I am seriously thinking about it.  With the man's work schedule and the wee ones at home, it won't be an option until Monday at which point in time I hope to have some better news.  If not, I might just do that.

I also received a response from Olwyn Enright who invited me to give her a ring or stop into her office tomorrow as she will be here.  I think I might take her up on it.  Of interest is that the Fine Gael TDs are the only ones I've gotten a response from with absolutely nothing from the HSE or Fianna Fail.  I suppose I'm not surprised. 

I am still wondering who else is affected by this.  There must be other women out there.  Where are they?  Surely I'm not the only one facing Christmas with the fear of the unknown hanging over my head.  In the meantime I will remain positive and hope that maybe the HSE will respond to the folks at Today FM, although it doesn't seem like bad press fazes them in the least.

Thanks again for all the support.

I Am Overwhelmed...

... at the vast amount of support I've received from fellow bloggers and blog readers alike.  Having felt like no one cared for so long it has really helped me keep upbeat - so thank you!  I do wish to clarify that I am not trying to be a poster child here.  At my age statistics really are on my side and it could be something very simple, but I know I am not the only person on that list.  I know there have to be older more at risk women in front of me and they too are not getting the treatment they deserve.  It's just scandalous!

Taking Primal Sneeze's suggestion, I contacted my local TDs Brian Cowen, Olwyn Enright, John Maloney and Charlie Flanagan.  I received a prompt response from Fine Gael's Charlie this morning.  He said:

Hi AL,

i am sorry that you have been let down by the health services. The situation is not improving. I have been in touch with the HSE and the Dept of Health to see can the timescale between referral and treatment be shortened. Many women cannot wait and some will suffer health deterioration in the meantime. I assure you of my efforts. regards Charlie Flanagan.

I was impressed with the promptness of his reply, but given my general experience with politicians remained skeptical until I received a second email from him a few minutes ago.

AL, I have been making enquiries about breast ultrasound in Midlands. It appears that there is  now no service. I have personally written to Mary Harney expressing my concern and requesting urgent action. Kind regards. Charlie Flanagan.

I have to say I am impressed with Charlie and very glad I voted Fine Gael, but what the hell is up now?

There is NO service in the Midlands?  What the fuck?  Shouldn't somebody have made an announcement about this?  Shouldn't the GP's have been told so they could refer us elsewhere?  Shouldn't someone have let the women affected know?  If I hadn't written to Charlie, I would be sitting here thinking that each day that goes by moves me up on their list.  But now it turns out the list has gone POOF along with breast services in the Midlands.  The thing that kills me is that ALL the hospitals have to shut down the service.  Tullamore stopped first, then Mullingar and only now Port Laoise.  Tullamore and Mullingar were never effected in the first place, why should they turn away patients because of some heated press in Port Laoise.  If anything, Port Laoise services should have been suspended from the get go and the other hospitals in the region should have picked up the slack.  And you can bet all the people working in these suspended units are still getting paid!  It's sick.

I've just about had it.  I had wanted to remain anonymous and avoid the press, but this is just ridiculous.  I rang Port Laoise and no one is telling me anything.  My GP is gone for the day, but I will be ringing first thing in the morning and asking for a referral to Dublin, which I asked for three weeks ago!  This is horse shit. 

If Mary Harney found a lump in her breast would she be waiting this long? I think not.  I am angry and frustrated and I don't know where to go from here.   Shit...

There seems to be a bit of interest...

... directed over here thanks to fellow bloggers.  I thought given this that I should give the full background.  This is a letter I wrote to a certain Irish radio personality who found it much less important than talking about washed up celebrities.  It was never read on air, but it should give the complete background. I wrote this just under a month ago.  This was before it emerged that even more women had been fucked over by the idiots at the HSE.  Biiter? Who me?

Dear "Radio Guy,"

 

When the breast cancer scandal hit the Midlands in the late summer I was as shocked as everyone else.  Appalled at the state of our health care system and outraged for these women who's lives had been turned upside down by the negligence of a disgraceful system. I still am.  I cannot imagine how it must feel to have the weight lifted off your shoulders after having that awful scare, only to find out months later that you do indeed have cancer.  The wasted months in which life-saving treatment could have been given and the increased chance of death because of the wait - absolutely atrocious!  Only today it's closer to home.

 

On September 19th I visited my GP because I was concerned about pain in my right breast and what appeared to be a yellow tinged discharge.  My GP thought it was an infection and prescribed antibiotics, but to be on the safe side, she referred me to the hospital in Tullamore for a breast ultrasound. 

 

I took the ultrasound request form to them the same day.  I was informed by the receptionist that they were no longer doing the scans in light of the recent scandal and that I could check with Mullingar or wait a week or two and check back with Tullamore.  I contacted Mullingar and was told there would be a few weeks wait, so I decided to wait the week and check back with Tullamore.  In that week I finished the course of antibiotics and the symptoms cleared up.  I assumed my GP had been correct that it was just an infection and didn't pursue it any further.

 

Four weeks ago the pain came back tenfold.  My right breast also feels different.  Not a lump, per se, but definite changes, something they warn you to watch for.  Then I noticed the discharge had come back, only this time was bloody. 

 

I immediately decided to pick up where I had left off and rang Tullamore about getting the scan.  I was informed they were still not doing them.  I rang Mullingar and was informed again that it would be a 3-4 week wait as a private patient.  They asked that I post the initial GP scan request to them which I did. 

 

I asked about the process in place and was informed that the request forms were run by a consultant before the scans were scheduled.  This seems to me to be a waste of both the consultant's time and the patients.  Why not just have the scan and send the results to him for interpretation?  Why should he have to look at the form, ok the scan, then have someone else perform the scan, send him the results and then interpret them?  Seems like an extremely inefficient system to me, although I suppose I should be used to that by now.

 

I waited to hear back from Mullingar.  The Monday before last my GP's office rang to say that Mullingar had sent the request form back to them with no explanation.  I was informed that it would be sent on to Port Laoise.  I have yet to hear anything.

 

I realise that there is a bit of a situation over there, but this is ridiculous.  Then we hear earlier this week that we have one of the highest mortality rates for breast cancer in Europe.  Is there any wonder?  Cancer prognosis is directly proportionate to how soon after detection treatment begins.  The earlier it is detected and treated, the better chance of survival and remission.  If women are waiting weeks or months before even having the chance of something being detected, then treatment is surely not started as soon as it could and should be.

 

"Radio Guy," the wait is killing me.  I have two young children and I cannot sleep at night because I fear the worst and what might happen to them and my husband.  I just can't get on with my day to day life until I know for sure.

 

The more I think about this, the more I know and realise I can't be alone.  There must be many other women all over the country in the exact same positions - their lives on hold in an agonizing wait.  Chances are it is a false alarm, indeed there can be many less grave explanations, but until you know for sure, it's a weight on your shoulders.  Then of course you can't help but wonder what if some of them, or myself even, have an advanced or aggressive form of the dreaded c-word?  We could be dead before the HSE get around to even giving us that initial screening.

 

What's more - when I finally have the scan and if they find something - I assume I would be referred for a biopsy or other further testing.  How much longer will that take before I see a diagnosis?  Weeks? Months? It's absolutely appalling and frankly, terrifying.  Then on the other hand, if we get the all clear, recent events would suggest we should still seek a second opinion.  It just doesn't end.

 

I don't wish to become a spokesperson or get involved in a press upheaval surrounding this.  In fact I would appreciate being kept strictly anonymous, but I do want to know if others are in the same situation.  I would love to hear from your listeners on this topic.  Are there more of us out there?  Is it just younger women like myself who are being treated in this manner, knowing that the risk is less makes us a lower priority? Is there anything we can do?  How much longer is this going to go on?

 

Thank you for listening "radio guy."  I hope you can get the message out there that there are still women suffering... waiting.  The situation may have been brought to the public's attention, but nothing has changed. 

 

It's a farce.  A farce that is toying with human lives.

 

Kind Regards,

Me

Just to Lighten Things Up...

I had our friendly neighbourhood Jehovah's Witness stop by today.  Although not of any religion really myself at the moment, I have a strong background in theology and normally love to invite these fuckers in and debate with them.  I whip out my Catholic (oh blasphemy) version of the Bible and go peg to peg against that outdated King James. 

But alas today, he called around during breakfast.  The kids were in a state, I had people coming for lunch, it was not to be.  My sole aim was to get rid of him as quickly as possible. 

The three year old who was enjoying her cheerios at the table, obviously caught the gist of our conversation and shouted out "Mommy, is that God at the door?"

Didn't really help my cause at all!

Thanks to everyone for the supportive comments and blog posts on the other issue.  I appreciate your concern! No update... still waiting... just getting on with it as they say.