Because I can't mind my own business...

So I've been quietly observing the shit storm that started with an interesting post by the previously unknown to me, Rosie of The Spanish Exposition. 

I've been thinking about commenting all weekend but didn't quite know how to capture my thoughts.  I kept wondering if I was taking things personally, because I happen to be a fan of both Flirty and Damien, two of the blogs Rosie slammed.  I almost wrote criticised there, but criticism implies something different. 

Rosie is well written and makes an excellent point that there should be more criticism in the blogosphere.  I agree.  On my main site I have often had people come to me to say a recipe bombed or point out that I'd forgotten to add a min ingredient.  That is great, that is the feedback I need to improve my site.  If there is an issue with a recipe I love to be able to work with a reader to figure out what went wrong and find a solution.  Constructive criticism ultimately makes us better bloggers and better people.

I agree with Rosie that there can be an air of artificial bonhomie.  Personally I have not come across it on my blogs, but I've seen it on others.  Lots of backslapping and ass-kissing in the comments with the content rarely discussed.  It's never really bothered me, but I can see how it would bother others.  It is evident that Rosie welcomes discerning and scathing comments alike and I think most bloggers would, it's just that it doesn't always happen.  There's something about typing that just comes across cold, especially to people who don't know you in real life.  I've always been a proponent of having little icons like bold or italics, but for irony and sarcasm.  Alas, Microsoft were not so amused.  In all seriousness though, it is hard to get things across on a screen and hard to make emotion come through in your words.  Things get twisted and skewed as they crawl the web.  Perhaps this is why people are reluctant to constructively criticise their peers?  Maybe it's our own fault as bloggers - perhaps we should have a comment policy - encouraging our readers to have at us, I just don't know.

So far, I am with Rosie.  I get it.  I think it's a valid point.  Yet when I finish reading the post I couldn't help but feel something was amiss.  At first I thought it came across quite petty, almost high school like.  Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, yada yada yada.  But that wasn't it.

Was I upset because she dissed some of my blogging friends?  Nope, not really.  They can fend for themselves, and do, quite well!

Was it the awards bashing?  I admit I was a little surprised, much as I was when I read Gimme's scathing review of the night.  I had a ball.  Sure I drank too much and probably made an ass of myself, but I met some wonderful people.  There were a few people I didn't care for as much, but I moved on and met others.  I guess I was slightly appalled in reading posts like this - that people I had met and who had previously spoken about the good time they had there - had about-faced and jumped on the bandwagon.  It seems the hypocritical nature of commenters that Rosie is pointing out goes both ways. 

I would be a liar if I said I agreed with all the awards, but as far as I'm concerned, it was as democratic a process as it could be and continues to improve each year.  The decision was made, move on.  Same with the Lisbon Treaty.  The public has spoken, now let's move on.  Indeed I was disturbed by some bloggers on the actual night who were sulking and making my four year old look quite intelligent, because they hadn't won.  But that still isn't what was bothering me.

It finally clicked with me today when reading Alexia's thought-provoking post and resulting comments.  Nothing about what Rosie said really bothered me, except for her so called criticism.  I don't think calling out those two blogs was constructive criticism at all.  I think it was mean spirited and slightly callous.   Posting about your distaste for a blog just because you don't "find it particularly topical or interesting" is not criticism at all.  That's about YOU, not the blogger in question.  YOU don't see why so many people subscribe, YOU don't understand what they're on about.  A blatant statement like that is not only insulting to the blogger in question but to many of their 1200+ readers.

Criticism is going directly to the blogger whether via comments or personally and saying - "hey, I don't agree with that" or "you're probably not aware, but you switched tenses about thirty times in that post. It's a tough concept to grasp, but if you're interested this XYZ site has some great resources on that."

If it's more than that, don't read the blog.  Move on.  You don't go to the bookstore and buy books that don't interest you, you move on and pick up something that does interest you.

In conclusion, I still feel Rosie has brought up an interesting point and definitely sparked some debate.  Yes, there should be more criticism in the blogosphere, but it should be constructive.  I certainly wouldn't list all the blogs I find boring or distasteful on this or any other blog.  Chances are if I dislike it, so do my readers, so why would I waste their time with that?   

So how do we foster an attitude of constructive criticism?  I daresay it's not something for everyone.  For a lot of people, myself included, blogging is not all about writing.  If someone came along and criticised my writing I wouldn't really be bothered, but I probably wouldn't pay much heed either.  However, if someone came along and criticised the content I was writing about, I would stop and listen and engage. 

I propose that those of us who want to foster an attitude of mutual constructive criticism do so by amending our comment policies, if we have them, or by creating one if we do not.  Welcome constructive criticism and encourage your readers to give it to you.  If blogging for you is about improving your writing, say that.  Your readers might be able to point things out or give tips.  If blogging is about expanding your knowledge, say that too.  I love it when readers point me to other places on the web.  I have even been known to change my mind accordingly.  So since I've butted in where I have no business to, I better put up or shut up.  Here is my new comment policy so:

I welcome all comments, negative or positive.  I am always open to constructive criticism of either my writing style, thoughts or subject-matter.  I am open to alternative points of view and encourage you to share them openly.  I will not delete any comments unless they are blatantly racist, or otherwise inflammatory or libelous.   I would ask that we all be adults here.  I would also ask that if you have the tenacity to say something unpopular that you do so as you, not under the camouflage of "anonymous."  If you are not comfortable leaving a comment publicly, you are always welcome to email me.

What about you? :)

Comments

[manuel]

I've missed all of this......I'm off to do some reading......but I agree with you so far......

[ellen]

A great post. I agree with you. Someone called out my blog and this was my response!!

http://ellenmcdermott.blogspot.com/2007/10/its-free-world.html

[Rosie]

a great post and you've given me a lot to think about and you're right in saying that my opinions on Mulley's and Flirty's blogs are about me and my reaction to them.

your suggestion re a comments policy is an excellent one.

[Darragh]

And so the conversation continues, ideas are heard and things continue to improve.

Great post and reaction Debs. Fair play. Great to see the personal passion out there as well :)

Rosie, if you're reading, your reaction to all the blog posts and comments has been extremely impressive and professional.

[Deborah]

Manuel - Not like you to miss out on a proverbial shit storm! :)

Ellen - Love the picture! :)

Rosie - Thanks so much for coming by. I appreciate your honesty and candour and am glad you sparked off some very interesting discussion!

Darragh - Was wondering what the "comment king" might make of a comment policy!

[jen]

Bloody hell, how did I miss this one?!

So many things to say...

For what it's worth, I totally missed any undercurrent of weirdness at the Blog Awards. I was just happy to be meeting new people, having a drink and a chat and playing with my Well-Done Fillet badge. Whatever the problem was, it went totally over my head!

[Annie]

I remembered you started this blog - way back - but just kept going back to the recipe one for some reason and I forgot you had this - sorry :(

What you've written here is an echo of what has gone on recently in the US blogsphere - except there it's been taken to another level - where people have debated (and chastised) other bloggers for simply deleting dissenting views (deleting comments pressing a view that disagrees with your own is a petty and egotistical move if you ask me - who the hell is right all the time?).

Great post Deborah. I've put this in my reader, so I won't forget again :D

[Joyce]

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Joyce

http://www.videophonesguide.com