Avoiding Life One Post at a Time

Hypocrite, me? Yes, you!

 

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I want to tell you a story.  A sad story.  I'm going to follow that story up with something you don't want to hear.  Something you know to be fundamentally true, but you rationalise your way out of it.  Leave now, if you don't want to hear it.

A few weeks ago, I was driving home when a puppy ran out on the road.  I saw a little boy jump up and run after him.  Thankfully the little boy stopped at the edge of the road.  Unfortunately for him, he witnessed his faithful puppy being mowed down by a Landrover. The SUV kept on going, seemingly oblivious to the destruction it had just caused. 

I pulled over.  The little boy ran out and grabbed the already dead puppy with his little hands and started sobbing.  I opened my door and was about to get out when he ran back across the street with his precious puppy in his arms.  It was absolutely heart breaking.  He must have been about seven or eight and to see his dog effectively murdered was probably extremely traumatic.  My heart went out to him and it has been killing me ever since.

I have told numerous people this story in the last week and all of them were understanding and sympathetic.

As a social experiment I then rewind.  I tell them the puppy and the boy dashed out of a halting site, which they did.  All of a sudden a previously tragic incident becomes funny.  "Well, why didn't you say it was a knacker puppy?"  That sickens me.

The Ireland I left in the eighties was a very conservative society.  It has done an about face today and has become incredibly liberal.  The younger society is extremely progressive, passionately speaking against homophobia, atrocities abroad, racism and fighting for what's right.  However other than fat people and smokers, there is one group of people that are discriminated against constantly.  The travellers.

I brought the Yankee husband to visit Ireland shortly after we were married.  We went to lunch with my Nana and her sister and brother-in-law.  Himself just about fell off his chair when one of them muttered something about black people being the dirtiest of people.  I had to restrain him.  They didn't mean any harm, they seriously just knew no better.  They're in their late eighties and arguing with them at this point was not going to help. 

Himself was shocked by this for many years.  When we moved over he was also shocked at how people treat the Travellers.  How could any group of people be singled out in such a way?  He's American.  They don't operate like that, see.

Being just nine when I left, my only contact with travellers had not been good.  Growing up in Clonsilla, we were always told to bring our toys in at night in case "the knackers would take them."

Having spent most of my life elsewhere I too took a liberal stance when we moved back and was appalled at how they were treated.  The funny thing is, I still feel that way - himself, however - does not.  He works in retail and has seen the worst of them.  They steal, they cause fights and generally make his day harder.  He generalises and stereotypes them like the best Irishman.  I can't fathom this change of heart.

But he most certainly isn't alone.  I bring our old clothes to St. Vincent De Paul and have been told by numerous people that I shouldn't because "it just goes to the knackers."

I know it's true that statistics aren't on their side, but the same can be said of many minority groups.  In the United States statistics show that more violent crime is committed by black people than any other race, yet that doesn't allow people to blatantly discriminate against them, nor should it.

The same should apply here in Ireland.  I also can't help but think it's a vicious cycle.  It goes back to basic psychology.  If you tell someone they are bad and unwanted, they start to believe it and act out accordingly.

What really kills me though, are the children.  That little boy with the puppy was a LITTLE BOY!  He has his whole life in front of him.  Think of the things he could do with it.  But society is preventing that.  These children are not being given the same opportunities that our children are and that is wrong.  I understand that a lot of responsibility lies with the parents, but we have to step in at some point.

The main halting site here is across from the school.  As far as I'm concerned, some government official should be at that halting site everyday dragging those kids across the road to school.  We owe it to these kids to break the cycle.

I know this post is likely to bring about a lot of "But they fill-in-the-blank" type comments, but I don't care.  We are being hypocrites.  We scream and shout about the injustices that other minorities suffer, we yell about atrocities abroad, yet we constantly abuse and bash travellers here at home.  What is human about that?  Where is our pride and dignity?  It's time we put our money where our mouths are.  Do we really believe in liberty and democracy? Well, then surely it applies to everyone.

That is all.

Weighing in on Lisbon

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I've been a bad blogger here of late.  The problem is not that I don't have anything to say, as much as it is that I have too much to say, but feel I have neither the expertise or eloquence to get across what I need to.  But after reading so many posts on the Lisbon Treaty, I just felt I had to weigh in.

I was always a big supporter of the EU back in my more political days.  I grew up on the continent and got involved in Brussels during the summer.  I was fascinated with the EU and UN and got involved any way I could, whether through volunteering, summer jobs or Model UN.  I was even the Irish Ambassador in The Hague one year! ;-)

I felt both these organisations were built on noble policy and could really work to the benefit of mankind.  Although, I still feel that way, I find myself having less and less confidence in both. 

Economically, there is no doubt the EU has been of great help to Ireland, ultimately helping us pull out of a recession, aiding farmers and allowing mutually beneficial movement of goods and services.  It has also been good for us socially.  EU intervention and memberships helped us move forward in womens liberation, disability and made some progress on the homosexual front.  Ultimately it has helped us give up our reliance on the church and become a government in our own right. 

I wrote a financial thesis on the introduction of the Euro back in 1998 when everyone thought it would bomb.  I just couldn't understand the logic.  How could anything that incorporated the German Mark, one of the world's strongest and stable currencies and the French Franc possibly flop?  I  predicted in my thesis it would out value the dollar and British pounds.  Although, this doesn't necessarily help us economically, it still puts us as part of a financially stable world group, something we never could have dreamed of thirty years ago. 

We really have a lot to be thankful to the EU for.  This is something the pro-Lisbon lobbyists are keen to remind us of.  As if we owe them something.  The signs all say "Vote Yes to Europe."  That is false advertising.  We are not voting for Europe, we are voting for a treaty.  Voting no will not kill our membership to the EU. 

When I was in Belgium a month ago it was interesting how many of my former classmates begged me to vote no.  One Dutch fellow told me we were their only hope.  He said they tried to vote no back in 2005, but they re-wrote it to preclude another referendum, despite them and France blatantly saying no.  It is commonly agreed that the Lisbon Treaty is a loosely disguised re-write of the EU constitution so rejected by France and The Netherlands. 

Initially I decided I was voting no for economic reasons.  I didn't like the idea of mandates from Brussels directing our tax affairs.  Then I read about our loss of voting power.  In this day and age, that is a biggie.  Imagine if they tried to implement that in the UN?  Sure there's the debatably useless Security Council, but in the General Assembly, everyone gets an equal vote.  How can anything otherwise be even remotely democratic?  How can we sign away our right to an equal vote?  I understand introducing new countries adds to the bureaucratic burden, but taking away voting power from a country, regardless of population or size, is certainly not the answer.

I kept finding lots and lots of reasons to vote no, but very few to vote yes.  In fact the only reason I can think of to vote yes is sheer spite.  Spite for the church bigots and Sinn Fein who are urging us to vote no.  In any other situation the fact that these two groups are on the same side would be laughable, but in this case it's a bit ironic.  I am actually in agreement with two groups that stand for everything I am against, albeit for different reasons. 

Having said all that, the most compelling reason I see to vote no is the incomprehensible nature of the document.  I was listening to a debate on Pat Kenny's show the other morning and was just amazed.  Two men, both reading the exact same section of the treaty were able to read two completely different things into it.  Upon hearing what it said, I read a third meaning.  How can we vote for something that both sides understand differently?

How could the EU even use such a document to govern if everyone who reads it understands it differently? It just doesn't make sense.

Having lived out of Ireland for most of my voting career, I was never allowed to vote, until this past election.  I take my responsibility as a voter very seriously as a result.  And I cannot, under any circumstance, understand how any responsible voter could vote for a document that is ambiguous and ultimately incomprehensible. 

Voting no does not say no to Europe.  It says "Oi, Brussels, this is a load of shite, now get back there and come up with something that makes sense." 

Europe is a wonderfully historic and diverse continent.  As much good as the EU does, I honestly feel that this treaty, incomprehensibility's aside, takes away some of our individual culture.  And that goes for ALL of the countries.  Wars were fought to draw the borders between our lands.  Great wars, Holy Wars, even the frighteningly recent wars in the Balkans.  Heroes died on all sides.  Governments were formed and sovereignty was achieved - history was made.  Are we going to throw that all away for some document our own Taoiseach has not even read?

The election last year severely deflated my opinion of the general public, but this is much more important and I don't think people understand that at all.    

I'll shut up now. :)

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Sustainability...

I'll be upfront.  I think the whole global warming thing is a load of bollocks.  Yes, the climate is changing, no one disputes that, but it's also been doing that forever.  A trip to Céide Fields in Mayo - also known as the world's most boring museum - will tell you that 10,000 years ago Ireland had a tropical climate.  It's a cyclical thing.  I don't believe that energy saving light bulbs and hybrid cars and fucking paying someone to neutralise your emissions is going to help anything. 

The latter really pisses me off.  Whoever came up with the idea is an entrepreneurial genius.  People are actually forking over money to these people who supposedly plant trees to counteract your plane trip.  I think people buying into that are pretty stupid, but it's their money, so what do I care?  When I start caring is when the government starts doing it with my tax money!  But I digress...

You can argue away with me on this one, but ultimately I think the global warming movement is tantamount to right-wing fundamentalism.  I'm completely with Michael Crichton on this one and I ain't changing my mind.  So there.  Click here to read his much more researched and eloquent position and save your breath yelling in the comments.

So why am I blathering on about this?  Well, you needed a bit of background.  I don't want to be considered some weird eco-hippy.  Global warming aside, I am a strong proponent of living sustainably.  It is a big dream of mine to someday be able to produce and grow my own produce and even rear my own meat.  I would like to produce my own power, recycle and compost my output and generally live "the good life."  And so it with awe, admiration and a profound respect that I follow Dan and Rebecca's journey to live a sustainable life.  It's absolutely fascinating stuff and I anxiously await updates on their various projects, the most recent being hatching Easter chicks.  Judging by their comments, I don't think I'm alone in that dream either. 

Unfortunately financially, a small holding is not an option now or at any time in the near future.  And himself thinks I'm on crack.  In my hippy days I really wanted to join a commune in Tennessee.  I love the idea of living in a community where everyone has the same goals and ideals, although I couldn't deal with the vegetarianism thing!  It was with great surprise then that I recently discovered The Village, a planned "eco-village" in Tipperary.   It is such a cool idea that to be honest, I am a bit gobsmacked.   From what I gather, it's going to be a contemporary eco-friendly village with living space and community features such as weekly markets, farmland, allotments, playgrounds, a town park and river walk.   It sounds incredible.  And it's not all some idealistic drivel either, it's actually happening and building will start this month.  A site averages €81,000 and then you have to build.  I would so love to do this.  We've been renting since moving back to Ireland and effectively throwing away a third of our income each year.  A village like this would allow me to live out aspects of my dream, but maintain the sense of normality the husband would need. 

Imaging bringing up children in an environment like that?  Not only would they learn respect for their environment, but they would be able to actively participate in a sustainable life.  With allotment space they could grow produce and with the farm space they could help rear animals, all in a community atmosphere.  It's also just an hour away, so himself could commute.  Defeats the point?  Nah, did you skip my global warming disclaimer above? 

So how does one convince one's husband and one's bank that this is a great idea?  There's a €15,000 deposit and obviously payment for the site and of course the build.  Dealing with eco-friendly building is likely to be pricey as builders might not be familiar with the techniques required.  The husband has very bizarre and contemporary ideas about design which makes things even more complicated.  And then there's the bank.  Getting approved for a mortgage in this country is hard, even harder when it involves a build and bridging loan.  I should know, I used to work for the bank.  Doesn't matter that you've faithfully forked over €1200 to a landlord for 3 years and can thus afford the lower mortgage payment, that is something lost on banks.  Then you have the question of market stability.  Himself does not want to buy in Ireland, as he hopes to eventually go back to the States, but I don't see the logic of throwing our money away on rent. 

What would you do?  Buy a normal house, try for the semi-dream environment or keep renting?

Divorce

So the verdict is in and it appears to be top news on many sites.  After four years of marriage she walks away with £24 million pounds.  If the judges estimates are correct, that is six percent of his fortune.  In one way I wish I'd married a rich man and left a millionaire, but on the other hand it sickens me.  It cheapens women everywhere and I have always felt this way.  If there are children involved, then there should be some financial obligations made, but other than that, in most circumstances, I think alimony is a crock. 

If my marriage broke up tomorrow I'd make sure he was paying half the kids expenses, but otherwise I wouldn't want a penny.  I'm intelligent and have skills - I can work - I don't need some man paying my way just because I happened to make a stupid mistake at the altar.

I know several middle-aged men who are today struggling to pay their ex, mortgage and kids.  They are neglecting their own health and well-being just to make ends meet.  One man in particular, we'll call him Steve, has had a particular round of bad luck.  His first wife ran away with a Brazilian drummer and his second left him for a woman.  He is paying alimony to them both.  How is that fair?  They left him, yet somehow he is financially responsible for them.

We constantly talk about equality for women and press for it on most fronts, but these sort of verdicts make us look like hypocrites.  If we want to be equal then we better live with everything that entails and stop making ourselves look stupid.  Thanks Heather for making us all look like fools.

I thought I'd seen it all...

I thought I'd seen it all when I first went to America and saw that there were Christmas lights on a funeral home, on several funeral homes, in fact.

I thought I'd seen it all when I found my parents Joy of Sex book and accompanying video. I shudder just thinking about it. 

This was surpassed when I saw a sex show in Amsterdam and learned that babies are not the biggest things that can come out of a woman. 

But this... this is something I just can't comprehend.  Uranium... in a can... available from Amazon. 

This would have been very useful to me in high school.  For less than US$30 you too can have your own uranium sample. 

Supposedly it is to be used for testing geiger counters.  I wonder how many people who own geiger counters shop for test samples on Amazon.

Amazon says: Radioactive sample of uranium ore. Useful for testing Geiger Counters. License exempt. Uranium ore sample sizes vary. Shipped in labeled metal container as shown. Shipping Information: We are always in compliance with Section 13 from part 40 of the NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission rules and regulations and Postal Service regulations specified in 49 CFR 173.421 for activity limits of low level radioactive materials. Item will be shipped in accordance with Postal Service activity limits specified in Publication 52. Radioactive minerals are for educational and scientific use only.

I can't help but wonder how many of these low radioactive samples one would need to purchase in order to have something seriously dangerous.  Should we be concerned that customers who viewed this product also viewed this or this or is the Tom Cruise biography the really scary one?

What a world we live in!

 

Two Tits and a Vote

The lovely and talented Sabrina Dent has launched a campaign for better breast care in Ireland.  The aptly titled Two Tits and a Vote is a website dedicated to giving women access to the issues and access to their politicians.  It only takes a minute to sign the petition that will be presented to Mary Harney in March.  There are pre-written templates for letters to your TDs and the HSEor TTAAV will send a postcard on your behalf for a small donation. 

Please head over there, read the press release and see what's on offer.  Male or female, sign the petition, please - this has gone on too long.  Please tell your family, friends, enemies, neighbours to do the same, after all with breast cancer affecting just over one in four women in Ireland, we are all bound to face it one way or another, whether it be ourselves, a friend or a family member.  Something has to be done and this campaign is an excellent start. 

 

If you do nothing else worthwhile this week, if you couldn't be arsed to check out the site, for God's sake, just take a minute out of your day sign the petition.

My heartfelt thanks to Sabrina for highlighting my issue.  It is my sincere hope that more women will come out of the woodwork and people will know what is really going on and how ridiculous it really is.

That is all.

Sometimes I make myself so angry...

You know the more I think about the conversation with my GP and ponder some of the comments people have left the more angry I get with myself.  Why did I just let him say that?  Why couldn't I have demanded more?  Why am I such a pushover?  If I was in a restaurant and my steak was overcooked I would sure as shit send it back, but when it comes to my own well being I let some doctor walk all over me.  Fuck.

To put things into perspective, he's a lovely country doctor.  His Daddy was a doctor and his Grand Daddy was a doctor and so on and so forth - their name is synonymous with health care in this town.  He's got a great reputation and I certainly don't want to tarnish that, but why am I settling for these nonchalant answers?  It's not his family who are potentially facing their last Christmas together!  I know I'm being melodramatic here, but is it really too much to ask that I know whether or not I have cancer by the New Year? 

Having said all that, I have received some emails and comments and come up with two potential options.  I could apply for an "exceptional and urgent needs" social welfare benefit to get the private treatment.  Given the man's job, we would probably have to pay it back eventually, but that is perfect - I wouldn't have it any other way.  I don't know if it will work, but perhaps where the HSE taketh away the Social Welfare department giveth! It's worth a shot if nothing else.

The other option is I go to one of the VHI Swift Clinics.  I can definitely come up with the €95 to get a referral to a Dublin hospital or even get the ultrasound there.  I am waiting on details from them.  It definitely seems like an option that might be slightly cheaper than going the private hospital route.  I was there once before with one of the kids and despite the cost was extremely impressed.

For those of you who missed the interview, the HSE would not issue a statement and wanted my specific details.  Cian gave me the numbers of the women he spoke to and I shall give them a ring tomorrow as "Mary."

I am definitely going to try and see Olwyn Enright tomorrow.  It might require some creative taxi catching and toddler wrangling, but I hope to make it work.  I have always been impressed with her and know she has had a similar scare herself.

The A&E camp out is still an option.  Always open to other creative suggestions as well!  Thanks again for all the support.  Things may look bleak, but I am trying to look at the good side of things.  Statistics statistics... on my side!  But best of all, Twenty Major himself commented here today and that really made my day! The joy!